May this year be your best ever.

I hope all your birthday dreams and wishes come true.

Not just a year older, but a year better.

Here’s to another year of experience.

A simple celebration, a gathering of friends; here is wishing you great happiness, a joy that never ends.

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Free Birthday Greeting Cards

Happy birthday, may this day always be a special one to remember.

May the best of your past be the worst of your future.

Hope your birthday blossoms into lots of dreams come true!

I hope that for every candle on your cake you get a wonderful surprise.

May today be filled with sunshine and smiles, laughter and love.

Happy Birthday and many happy returns of the day.

Just like fine wine, you grow better with the years.

Happy Birthday to someone who is forever young.

Here’s to celebrating you!

May this birthday be just the beginning of a year filled with happy memories, wonderful moments and shining dreams.

You’re not getting older, just more distinguished.

Another birthday? Why it seems only yesterday that you were a whole year younger. Happy Birthday!

Birthday Shirts

May your special day be filled with memories and flowers, friendship and happy hours.

Because you’re you I’m celebrating today! Happy Birthday

Go you, its your birthday, we’re going to party like its your birthday!

You’re older today than yesterday but younger than tomorrow, Happy Bday!

Have a wonderful day and fabulous year.

You were born to party.

May your birthday be filled with excitement, joy, and laughter.

On this special day, I just want to say Happy Birthday.

Don’t count your years for we all know you’re one year older than last year.

Best day ever: (MM/DD/YY)

Age does not matter, you can party as much as you want.

Birthdays Mean: cake, presents, wrapping paper, money, clothes, friends, partys etc. What more could you want on your birthday?

Birthday Shirts

Your birthday only comes around once a year so let’s make today a day to remember.

Today is a gift of life, today it’s your bithday.

Lot’s of people are thinking of you on your birthday; I just wanted to let you know I’m one of them. Have a wonderful day!

You’re aged to perfection.

Happy Birthday to someone who deserves a truly happy day.

Hope you have the greatest Birthday ever!

May each and every passing year bring you wisdom, peace and cheer.
May this day bring to you all things that make you smile.

Age is all but a number.

Hope your birthday is just the beginning of a year full of happiness.

You think you’re special because its your birthday today. That’s complete nonsense… you’re special every day.

Remember, you’ll be this age for only one year but you’ll be awesome forever.

Hope you have a birthday that’s as cool as you.

A happy birthday to a wonderful and terrific marvelous you.


Hope this day is as special as you are.

Count your life by smiles, not tears.
Count your age by friends, not years.

I’m so glad you were born, because you brighten my life and fill it with joy.

May the years continue to be good to you. Happy Birthday!

You’re not getting older, you’re getting better.

May this year bring with it all the success and fulfillment your heart desires.

Birthday Ideas

Wishing you all the great things in life, hope this day will bring you an extra share of all that makes you happiest.

Happy Birthday, and may all the wishes and dreams you dream today turn to reality.

May this day bring to you all things that make you smile. Happy Birthday!

Your best years are still ahead of you.

May each and every passing year bring you wisdom, peace and cheer.

You’ll always be forever young.

No one can hold a candle to you. Happy Birthday!

Today is your day to shine as every day should be. Happy Birthday!

I hope that your birthday is as wonderful as you are.

God gave a gift to the world when you were born; a person who loves and cares, who sees a person’s need and fills it, who encourages and lifts people up, who spends energy on others rather than himself, who touches each life he enters & makes a difference in the world. May the love you have shown to others return to you multiplied.

Don’t count the years, count the blessings.

Wishing you a year filled with the same joy you bring to others.

Birthday Shirts

Wishing you all the best in the year to come. May your days be filled with sunshine and beautiful colors. And may your nights be filled with comforting dreams and wishes to come.

No one desrves a happier birthday than you.

Youth happens, but age is earned.

Days have passed into years,you have become better with time. May you continue to become better with each birthday you enjoy.

Happy Birthday
You are very special
And you deserve the best
I wish you a wonderful life
Filled with love and happiness

It must have been a rainy day when you were born because the heavens were crying because it lost its most beautiful angel.

Age is not a destination. It’s a journey!

Happy Birthday to someone who has given much happiness to so many.

On your birthday; Count your candles, count your years, count your blessings.

You grow more beautiful with each passing year. Happy Birthday

Many things have changed over the years but you’re still the same great person you always have been.

Every year that passes is another stepping stone to greatness.

Free Birthday Greeting Cards

Hope you have your cake and eat it too! Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday, you don’t look as old as your age.

May this birthday start a new turn in your world. May it also bring forth inevitable joy, happiness and favor your way.

Birthdays are filled with yesterday’s memories, today’s joys, and tomorrow’s dreams.

I hope you enjoy your birthday as much as I have enjoyed you.

May your birthday be as magnificent as you are.

Religious Birthday Messages

May God continue to bless you life and give you the desires of your heart.

May God bless you and keep you always in His tender, loving care.

I hope that your day is blessed with happiness and joy.

You’re the kind of friend that only heaven could have sent.

Praying that your day is as special as you are.

May you enjoy the Lord’s presence today.

Birthday Ideas

As God adds life to your years, may He add years to your life. Happy Birthday!

May the good Lord shower you with many blessings on your special day.

God is so wise that he never created friends with price tags. If He did, I wouldn’t have been able to afford a precious friend like you.

No sorrows to depress you, only shadows to surround you, God himself to bless you. Happy Birthday!

May God soften the pillow you rest your head on at night
May He make smooth the path you walk by day
Not just today but everyday

I thank God for the day that you were born and for you being such a great friend to me.

May God be with you today and always.

Wishing you a blessed Birthday!

It is clear that God created you for a great purpose. Happy Birthday!”

Wishing you a happy birthday. May God bless you all the days you live.

Happy Birthday to you. I pray to God that He blesses you today and gives you strength to have positive thoughts and to give you success in your life.

Happy Birthday to you my friend. May you include God in all you do. Thank Him for giving again a new life. Today is the time to fulfill your dreams because God has given you a chance to change and to do better than before.

May God bless you on your birthday and everyday in everyway.

A special prayer for you that the Lord will bless you on your special day.

Happy Birthday Wishes

The more candles, the bigger the wish.

Wishing you everything happy for your birthday.

Wishing you miles of smiles in the coming years.

Wishing you all the best for your Birthday.

May all your dreams and wishes come true!

Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring.

Free Birthday Greeting Cards

Wishing you all the best on your speacial day.

Wishing you a cheerful birthday.

Wishing you the happiest of birthdays.

Wishing you a Happy Birthday and many more to come.

May the best of your wishes be the least of what you get.

Wishing you a happy and prosperous birthday and a sweet night of birthday dreams.

Hoping your wishes come true year after year.

Wishing you all the best in the year to come.
May your days be filled with sunshine and beautiful colors.
And may your nights be filled with comforting dreams and wishes to come.

Although I can’t wish you a happy birthday in person; I will spend the whole day with happy thoughts of you.

Wishing you many more good and prosperous years.

Wishing you good health and happiness in life.

Best wishes on your birthday and throughout the coming year.

Wishing you another wonderful year of happiness and joy. Happy Birthday!

Hoping your wishes come true year after year.

On your birthday, may every glowing candle on your cake be a wish that comes true.

Wishing you a very warm Birthday.



Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
— Mahatma Gandhi

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it’s just the
opposite. — John Kenneth Galbraith

Life is something that everyone should try at least once.
— Henry J. Tillman
Deeds, not words shall speak me.
— John Fletcher

This world is given as the prize for the men in earnest; and that
which is true of this world, is truer still of the world to come.
— Frederick William Robertson

Wear the old coat and buy the new book.
— Austin Phelps

Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for
his calling, never fails of employment.
— Thomas Jefferson

Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
— Evan Davis

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
— Laurence J. Peter

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
has read. — Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)

Girls are always running through my mind. They don’t dare walk.
— Andy Gibb
Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
— G. K. Chesterton (1874 – 1936)

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I
wouldn’t be a bit surprised.
— Dorothy Parker

Washington is the only place where sound travels faster than light.
— C. V. R. Thompson

The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism
is unreadable and literature is not read.
— Oscar Wilde

Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain
exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of
thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
— Will Cuppy

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
— B. F. Skinner

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving
birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
— Sam Levenson (1911 – 1980)

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly
making exciting discoveries.
— A. A. Milne

Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of
a witness. — Margaret Miller

I was born at the age of twelve on an MGM lot.
— Judy Garland

Keep a diary, and someday it’ll keep you.
— Mae West

It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to
be. — Brigitte Bardot

For my part, I consider that it will be found much better by all
parties to leave the past to history, especially as I propose to
write that history myself. — Sir Winston Churchill

Either I’ve been missing something or nothing has been going on.
–Karen Elizabeth Gordon

A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has his suspicions.
— Wilson Mizner

Sometimes a noble failure serves the world as faithfully as a
distinguished success.
— Edward Dowden

To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.
— Madame Swetchine

I shall be an autocrat, that’s my trade; and that good Lord will
forgive me, that’s his.
— Catherine the Great

Politeness is half good manners and half good lying.
— Mary Wilson Little

Egotism — usually just a case of mistaken nonentity.
— Barbara Stanwyck

Women are the real architects of society.
— Harriet Beecher Stowe, author of Uncle Tom’s Cabin

It’s not the men in my life that count, it’s the life in my men.
— Mae West

Men are not the enemy, but the fellow victims. The real enemy is
women’s denigration of themselves.
— Betty Friedan

Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world but
people capable of giving them their attention.
— Simone Weil

Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful
objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill
gives us modern art.
— Tom Stoppard

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can
be the designated driver.
— Jay Leno

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I’ve ever known.
— Walt Disney (1901 – 1966)

It’s all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.
— Mick Jagger
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
George Bernard Shaw

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
Albert Schweitzer

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
Martin Luther King

There’s a pinch of the madman in every great man.
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
— Walter Bagehot

We think in generalities, but we live in detail.
— Alfred North Whitehead

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly
greater than that of any other animal.
— H. L. Mencken

Every crowd has a silver lining.
— Phineas Taylor Barnum

Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely
improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy
future, without fear.
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Surely there comes a time when counting the cost and paying the price
aren’t things to think about any more. All that matters is value –
the ultimate value of what one does.
— James Hilton

Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being
careful that you are sure to stumble over something.
— Gertrude Stein, Everybody’s Autobiography, 1937

He who confers a favor should at once forget it, if he is not to show
a sordid ungenerous spirit. To remind a man of a kindness conferred
and to talk of it, is little different from reproach.
— Demosthenes
Fear not that thy life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it
shall never have a beginning.
— John Henry Cardinal Newman

He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation
perfectly delightful.
— Sydney Smith, referring to Macaulay

The world is wide, and I will not wast my life in friction when it
could be turned into momentum.
— Frances Willard

Be substantially great in thyself, and more than thou appearest unto others.
— Sir Thomas Browne, ‘Christian Morals,’ 1716

Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to,
with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the
— Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, Meditations, 200 A.D.

Do not remove a fly from your friend’s forehead with a hatchet.
— Chinese Proverb

Food is the most primitive form of comfort.
— Sheila Graham

We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can
nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are.
— Adelle Davis
There’s a pinch of the madman in every great man.
— Unknown

Sure, winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.
— Harry Sanders

If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save
the few who are rich.
— John F Kennedy

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts
about reality. — Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
— Albert Camus

I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I
would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a
quiet place and kill him.
— Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. — Mark Twain

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is
collagen. — Martin Mull

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
— Mark Twain (1835 – 1910)

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that
he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.
— Dave Barry

Criminal: A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient
capital to form a corporation.
— Howard Scott

In battling evil, excess is good; for he who is moderate in
announcing the truth is presenting half-truth. He conceals the other
half out of fear of the people’s wrath.
— Kahlil Gibran, ‘Narcotics and Dissecting Knives,’ Thoughts and
Meditations, 1960

Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your
position falls, your ego goes with it.
— Colin Powell

It’s all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to
fly in formation.
— Dr. Rob Gilbert

In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.
— Leo Tolstoy
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well
written or badly written. Oscar Wilde (dedicated to J.R. – you know
who you are)

Admiration, n: Our polite recognition of another’s resemblance to
ourselves — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.
— Ed Howe

You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because
you stop laughing.
— Michael Pritchard
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more
violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage — to
move in the opposite direction.
— E. F. Schumacher

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large
deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
— Woody Allen

As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree’ — probably because it’s
so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
— Woody Allen

Everything you can imagine is real.
— Pablo Picasso
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.
— Tom Lehrer

Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
— Albert Camus

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they
foul up there’s no law against wacking them around a little.
— Joe Martin, Porterfield
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
— Thomas A. Edison (1847 – 1931)

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared
to take offense, no matter what happens.
— Robert Benchley

It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start their
life as children.
— Kingsley Amis

I am no more humble than my talents require.
— Oscar Levant

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
— H. H. Williams

America may be unique in being a country which has leapt from
barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.
— John O’Hara

As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give
a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.
— Hagar the Horrible

Nobody believes the official spokesman… but everybody trusts an
unidentified source.
— Ron Nesen

The multitude of books is making us ignorant.
— Voltaire

The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond
them into the impossible.
— Arthur C. Clarke, “Technology and the Future”

Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so.
— Bertrand Russell

McCabe’s Law: Nobody _has_ to do _anything_.
— Charles McCabe

Water is the most neglected nutrient in your diet but one of the most vital.
— Kelly Barton

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give
without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire
without meanness.
— George Sand

Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled
with great ambitions.
— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Driftwood; Table Talk, 1857

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
— Karen Sunde

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is
shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
— Mark Twain

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
has read. — Mark Twain

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting
on its shoes.– Mark Twain

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. — Mark Twain

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
— Mark Twain

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then
success is sure. — Mark Twain

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off
their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
— Mark Twain

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
— Mark Twain



“To get to the rainbow, you have to
put up with the rain.” -Source Unknown

“If you find yourself digging a deeper and
deeper hole… stop digging.” -Source Unknown

“Whatever you do in life and love is
forever etched in the hearts of those
that it affects.” -Source Unknown

“Love is like water, you need 8 servings
a day.”

“You’ll never see the stars if you
are always looking down.” -Source Unknown

“Love turns winter into summer.”

“I am found in your dreams, located
in your heart and constantly running
through your mind.”

People may not remember exactly what you did or
what you said, but they will always remember how
you made them feel.” -Anonymous

“Impossible is in the dictionary of fools.”

“The day that we first met, the angels
whispered, ‘Perfect.'”

“When one door of happiness closes, another
opens; but often we look so long at the closed
door that we do not see the one which has been
opened for us.” -Helen Keller

The force of love is magnified every minute
I think of you.” -submitted by Madukzela & Konti

Defining love could take forever, feeling
love would be much better.”

“Follow your heart and there you will
find all the answers to your questions.”

“If I tell you that I love you, can I keep you
forever?” -Casper the Ghost

“Trip over love and you can get up. Fall in love
and you fall forever.” -Source Unknown.

“Love is like a garden, if you give it love
and tender care, it will grow!” -Anonymous

“Love excepts your past and believes in
your future.” -submitted by Josie Lauture

“While others have only caught my eyes, my true
love catches my heart.” -submitted by Caleb

Love is like a rose because no one has ever
picked one without accepting that it has thorns.”

“One cannot discover new oceans unless she
has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
-submitted by Eleanor Roosevelt

“Fate exists, but it can only take you
so far, because once you’re there, it’s
up to you to make it happen.”
-from the movie “Can’t Hardly Wait”

“When it looked as though my life was wrong,
you took my love and gave it somewhere to belong.”

“For every kiss you receive return two. Your
lips will be sweeter for the giving.”

“Love, if it is meant to be, will somehow
survive, just believe.”

The word HELLO means:
> H=How are you?
> E=Everything all right?
> L=Like to hear from you…
> L=Love to see you soon!
> O=Obviously, I miss you!!

True Love

“True love cannot be found where it does not exist nor can it be hidden where it truly does.”

“This is true love. Do you think this happens everyday?”
Westly “Princess Bride”

“A memory of true love is like a favorite song; no matter how many times it plays again, you never get tired of it.”

“True love is knowing a person’s faults, and loving them even more for them.”

“True love is when you’re still dancing, long after the music has stopped.”

“True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen.”
Francois de La Rouchfoucauld

“Once you find Your true love,your heart will know it because it will always leave a feeling inside of you that never goes away.”

“I never felt true love until I was with you, and I never felt true sadness until you left me.”

“True love only comes once in a life time, so take it as it goes and enjoy every bit of it while it is still burning strong.”

. “Only a person who has not felt true love can move on in life saying ‘There are lots of other fish in the sea.'”

“A person can be in love with someone forever till the end of time. But if that person doesn’t tell or show the feelings of love, it will be just another person living in a dream, lost of true love.”

“True love will be remembered by all, yet not all will know of true love.”

“The heart and the soul must bind together to make true love.”

“In life, there are many roads, and there is one known as love. When you come to the end of this road, you have found true love.”

“True love is when you have to watch a friend leave, with the knowledge that you might never see him again. But you know he’ll be in your mind and heart forever…”

“So many times I thought I would never find someone to love me the way I needed to be loved. Then you came into my life and showed me what true love really is!”

“Love is like a hunger, a food that is always needed, true love will fill the soul!”

“With true love comes no doubts, no jealousy, and no worries.”

“Love is like a photo negative.. it needs darkness to develop.”

“If their smile warms your heart, embrace eases you, and kiss distills all wrong done to man, then you know that you have found true love.”

“True love can not be expressed in words or deeds, only in time can you show true love.”

“Love is one, not one in a million, not one of a kind. When you find true love with someone, there’s only one. Love is one.”

“True love is not for a second, but for eternity.”

“True love is the grandest form of unity.”

“True love should be lived like an unperfect circle that has its bumps but never ends.”

“True love is not something that comes everyday, Follow your heart, it knows the right answer.”

“True love is the absence of fear.”
1 John 4:18

“It may take a lifetime to find true love, but when you do, you will have an eternity to share it.”

“If you never had a broken heart, you have not yet experienced true love.”

“True love can never be too strong or too dull, it can only be just right.”

“Nothing compares with the finding of true love, because once you do your heart is complete.”

“Some people say that when you are in love, you must always hold hands. But when it’s true love, you don’t need to because you just know that the other hand will always be there.”

“True love comes quietly without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”

“Never have I been so surrendering to a feeling….I must admit this is sweet surrender… this is true love.”

“Take away the trials, take away the pain, take away the sorrow, take away the pain, take away the emptiness, take away the sorrow and you will find true love.”

“True love is when you love a person more than you love yourself.”

“True love is when you love a person with no particular reason.”

“Love is running into your one true love after 20 years and it feels like only yesterday you were in his arms.”

“Is it fair to expect a child to recognize their true love when they come face to face with them? That would be wisdom indeed.”

“Go ahead and say it-I love you- you can say it a thousand times. But true love doesn’t need to be told.”

“Death can not stop true love, it can only delay it for a little while.”
The Princess Bride

“If love is so important to have that one doesn’t want to lose it, why is it when we find true love we often don’t notice it?”

“True love can only be exprseed when both partners love each other.”

“True love is the strongest emotion that cannot be broken.”

“True love is like a rainbow in the sky who always have different colors.”

“True love is unconditional and everlasting, it is established over time and validated with memories of the past.”

“The true love is only in the mind… never to be real unless it flows in the heart.”

“If you really love someone, you’re willing to let go even if it hurts so bad. And when he/she comes back to you, that’s TRUE LOVE.”

“If love is so important to have that one doesn’t want to lose it, why is it when we find true love we often don’t notice it?”

“If you truly love her, if you ever break-up, your heart will always go on. That is true love.”

“Countless words, nor countless actions could ever define my feelings for you. True love defies definition.”

“If loves divine, true love you are. If love art mine, then mine you are.”

“Love is like a sweet flower, true love is a sweet rose…”

“True love comes but once. Grab it while you can, for when it will never pass again.”

“True love is something you feel deep inside, a feeling that you find impossible to hide.”

“A true friend is a true love.”

“True love endures, if it does not, then it was never true.”

“No matter how hard things seem, true love will aide you through it.”

“True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse and which suddenly dies when severely tested.”
Ellen G. White

“True Love, like many things, can only be seen in the eyes of the beholder. It cannot be jealous, proud, or anxious; it is what is found in the depths of your heart, and longs only for one who’s heart longs for the same things as your own.”

“True love is out there and it looks for no one. So go get it.”

“The course of true love never did run smooth.”


Rekan- rekanku semua… Walau Hati gak sebening XL dan secerah MENTARI. Banyak khilaf yang buat FREN kecewa, kuminta SIMPATI-mu untuk BEBAS kan dari ROAMING dosa dan kita semua hanya bisa mengangkat JEMPOL kepadaNya yang selalu membuat kita HOKI dalam mencari kartu AS selama kita hidup karena kita harus FLEXIbel untuk menerima semua pemberianNYA dan menjalani MATRIX kehidupan ini…dan semoga amal kita tidak ESIA-ESIA.. MOHON MAAF LAHIR DAN BATHIN minal aidzin walfaidzin

* Kawin sama sapa ya? By: (tangguh97)
Jangan kawin ama orang TELKOM :”tiap 3 menit putus”
Apalagi ame Dr. Gigi : ” baru goyang udah dicabut”
Mendingan ame Guru : “kurang jelas, diulang ampe Puaaassss….

* Kamar mandi umum By: (maxkhoriq)
Budi kencing di kamar mandi umum, berhubung nggak ada uang kembaliannya, penjaganya berkata, maaf mas nggak ada kembaliannya sebaiknya mas kencing lagi deh!

* Rayuan pulsa By: (bram_127)
Stiap malam, stiap detik aku slalu terbayang senyummu, rambutmu yg sgt indah. ingin rasany slalu brada dsampingmu slamany. trus..
isi’in pulsa klo mo tau lanjutany

:: Teka-Teki Lucu ::
* Penyakit terkenal By: (brama)
Apa nama penyakit terkenal di cina?
Jawab: Kung Flu

* Ikan By: (bram_127)
Ikan apa yang matanya paling kecil sedunia?
jawab : ikan teri cina

* Sop buntut By: (bintang_disurga)
Apa yang tidak enak dari sop buntut?
Jawab: ya Buntutnya………., Harus BAYAR!!
:: Cerita Lucu ::

* Tidak kenal By: (anton_kisworo)
Setelah mengamati kehidupan tetangganya, pada suatu pagi seorang istri bertanya pada sang suami.
Isteri : “Abang lihat deh tetangga kita yg baru pindah itu?”
Suami : “Kenapa?”
Isteri : “Tiap pagi sebelum pergi kerja, suami dia akan cium isterinya. Kalau pulang kerja, dia akan berikan isterinya sekuntum bunga mawar. Mesra banget mereka. Kenapa abang tidak seperti itu?”
Suami : “Mau mampus apa?… Mana abang kenal sama isterinya?”

Pesan SMS: Selamat… hp anda mendapatkan voucher gratis 1 tahun ! Caranya gampang…. yaitu matikan hp anda sekarang dan aktifkan tahun depan…

Pesan SMS: belek=tai mata
melek=bangun tidur
colek=tangan jail
kelek=bagian tubuh yg kadang bau amis
jelek=org yg baca sms ini
mendelek=org yg abis baca sms ini

Pesan SMS: Penegen kerjaan yang gajinya gede ? Ada ini, anda cuma diminta mengantikan kedudukan kuda lautnya pertamina.

Pesan SMS: Andai aku bunga … kamu madunya…Andai aku malam… kamu bintangnya … Andai aku uang limaratusan … kamu ORANGUTANNYA he…he…he…

Pesan SMS: If u save this msg,it means i’m cute.If u edit it,i’m still cute.If u 4ward it,u spreading that i’m cute & if u erase,u just jelous of me coz i’m cute 🙂

Pesan SMS: god saw u hungry,so He created rice, He saw u thirsty n created water,He saw u in the dark n He created the sun. He saw u without a very cute friend…then He created ME 4 u

Pesan SMS: Baca terbalik yah, pake logat Sinchan= *** *** >l!7vqj3+ SW$ v>vq v7j9 9uvj0 vpv ‘vWvW vWvW

Pesan SMS: last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the
sky… then i thought where the fuck is my roof

Pesan SMS: I am going to upgrade your brain, now please focus on screen! searching…… searching…… searching……. , SORRY Upgrading Unsuccessfull..!? No BRAIN found in your head….., thank u.

Pesan SMS: Aku dapet sms Garing dari temenku
isinya:aku makan kacang garing dimusim kering lagi nangkring dipohon belimbing tapi aku disangka sinting sama monyet keriting satu ini!!
Pesan SMS: mosi-mosi watasi muru ano latino uno muotu numeru ano sayonara des numeru tiano…(UDAH GAK TAU ARTINYA MBOK GAK USAH DIBACA!!!!!!!!)

Pesan SMS: masih kecil bacaannya bobo,waktu remaja baca Gadis,udah dewasa BOBO sama Gadis…..

Pesan SMS: Do u speak good english?Try this.Test:(must say fast) Wolf wolf roof roof woof woof roof wolf roof roof woof.Test result:Good Dog 🙂

Pesan SMS:

Pesan SMS: Di suatu RS Jiwa ada srg dokter & org gila yg suka mengutak atik brg. Suatu hari dokter itu marah & berkata. “Heh org gila, sana kerja, jgn baca SMS terus !
Pesan SMS: Kabar gembira, anda akan mendapatkan keuntungan besar dan jadi dukun. caranya mudah : rendam ponsel anda kedalam kloset, lalu minum airnya…

Lucu: selamat,anda memenuhi kulifikasi sebagai penghibur di acara kami ,kami tunggu kehadiran anda di acara TOPENG MONYET!!

Kit Jungkit Pak Klakak Ipit Tuipit Acap Tempel Etek Bata Bulu Tamabani Ili Gutut…

Afganistan Ingin jadi Bagian dari USA

Breaking News: Disebutkan karena sengsara terus Afganistan ingin jadi bag. dr U.S.A, kata G.Bush boleh2 aja asal Ibukota KABUL diganti jadi TESSY

Sejak mengenalmu aku susah melupakanmu, tiap malam kau hadir dlm mimpi2 ku, dan membuatku berteriakk… SETAN… SETAN

Sesungguhnya perasaan ini sudah lama kupendam.saat ini akan kukatakan isi hatiku.mengapa..!mengapa..!mengapa..!kau begitu tega melupakan utangmu padaku.

Aku merasa SIMPATI padamu, karena km ibarat MENTARI yang sinarnya membuat hatiku sebening XL, dan aku bisa BEBAS mencintaimu, sepu-AS hatiku, dan kamu pantas di acungi JEMPOL, karena dari segi fisik km adalah cowok yang sangat FLEXI-bel. Oleh sebab itu kamu menjadi FRENS-ku sampai saat ini, sayang!!

Selamat anda mendapatkan mentari gratis.
Silahkan pergi ke lapangan dan nikmati mentari sepuasnya.

Arti Cinta

CiNtA iTu BuTa
bUtA iTu MaTa
MaTa ItU buLaT
bUlAt ItU tElUr
TeLuR iTu KuNiNg
KuNiNg ItU tAe
TaE iTu Bau
bAu ItU kAmU

ArTiNyA CiNtA kAmU iTu BaUuUuUUuu……..!!!!

Haiyaa… telnyata semua caples sodala owe, ada Pak Wie Lan To, ci Me Gha, Shu Shie Lauw, koko Aming & empek Ham Tsa… Haiya… Owe balu tau lho !!! ha ha ha

Cewek itu penyayang binatang,
Semua Cowok itu Buaya!!
Jadi siapa yang salah dong?

Telinga gatel? Itu tanda ada yg gomongin km. Bibir gatel? Tanda seseorg lg rindu km. Tangan gatel? Ada yg ingin memeluk km. Badan gatel? MANDI DONK! Jorok! 😉

Ada anak kecil bertanya pada ibunya “bu ayah ada dimana?” ibunya menjawab kamu mempunyai banyak ayah karena ibu dulu diperkosa.

Alasan Kenapa Cinta itu Buta

Cinta itu buta sebab bila orang bercinta selalu meraba-raba…

3 sifat baik BURUNG laki2
1. Disiplin: tiap pagi selalu bangun
2. Sopan : tiap liat cewek cantik selalu berdiri
3. Hormat: Menunduk kalo sama nenek2

cinta ini, cinta adalah, cinta caraku, cinta untuk, cinta membuat, cinta monyet, cinta bingung. ####### “Bacalah tanpa menggunakan kata cinta”.

“Hei, lambak,” tanya tetangganya pada suatu hari. “Kenapa kau selalu menjawab pertanyaan dengan pertanyaan pula?”
“Apa iya?”

Selamat Berbuka Puasa dengan Menu :
Es BeYe dan Juice Kalla
Semoga amal Ibadah kita diterima-Nya

Lihat sekelilingmu, itu adalah kebesaran Tuhan. Lihatlah keluargamu, itu adalah anugrah Tuhan. Lihatlah di cermin, itu cobaan Tuhan!

Ingin mendapatkan Rp 50.000 perhari dari Sprite? caranya gampang, kumpulkan tutup botol sprite, paku, dan sebilah kayu. Goyangkan diperempatan jalan sambil bernyanyi.

Jika kamu jadi pesawat aku rela jadi landasannya, jika kamu jadi api aku rela jadi lilinnya, dan jikalau kamu jadi monyet aku rela dengan segenap jiwaku…

Aku suka banget lihat kamu, baik, setia, ceria, tidak suka ngambek. Tapi aku paling sebel kalau ngajak kamu ngomong, jawabnya pasti, ”Guk.. !”.

Air beriak tanda tak dalam, yang berteriak tak bercelana dalam..

Buah kedondong diatas atep. Dulu bencong sekarang tetep.. !!!!

Selamat Anda telah mendapatkan Handphone Nokia 6600. Untuk keterangan lebih lanjut hubungi ayah Anda!

Gue mimpi’in loe semalem, elo terbaring dilantai,terus gue cium pipi loe! gue bisikin ketelinga loe “INNALILLAHI WA INNA ILAIHI ROJI’UN”

Burung kakaktua versi English

Bow wrong car card two are
Hang up they gen the law
neck neck so are two are
g-g are thing all two are

“Hwarkadrahh miniiphen ishdeet”…anda baru saja membaca sebuah mantra pembesar pantat..sebentar lagi pantat anda berubah menjadi tempayan….

Nasihat Untuk Wanita yang Mencari Suami

Suami yang memiliki 4 RAS:
1. Otaknya waRAS
2. Bisa cari beRAS
3. Pe**s nya keRAS
4. Supaya muncratnya deRAS

Jika kamu jadi pesawat aku rela jadi landasannya, jika kamu jadi lilin aku rela jadi apinya, jikalau kamu jadi monyet aku sungguh rela…

Aku Rela Dibakar Asal Tidak Hangus
Aku Rela Diperkosa Asalkan Tidak Hamil

Hidup ini hanya sebentar, sebentar duduk, sebentar berdiri, sebentar tidur, sebentar bangun, hmm.. sebentar yach… gua mo ke WC!!!

Memenangkan Hadiah Digital

Selamat anda telah mendapat hadiah dari digital silakan pilih
1.digi-ling stum
2.digi-las truk
3.digi-ring polisi
4.digi-git anjing
5.digi-lir banci

Cinta itu indah
Indah itu Seni
Seni itu air kencing
Air kencing itu bau
Kesimpulannya Cinta itu Bauuuu…!!

Kama sut kamabut laha sut lahabut jum….kata…jum…but-but selamat anda telah membaca mantra penghalus bulu jem….(tetapi)

Doa Mau Tidur


Kabar baik!! Mulai bulan Agustus nanti, harga BBM dan sembako akak turun 20%. Silahkan lihat di acara MIMPI KALI YEE

Tahukah anda bahwa penjaga gawang terbaik di dunia adalah seorang wanita, karena ditembak dari sudut manapun posisi bola tetap berada diluar.

“Manhuma jahrul waaji kawanu rohman ahsani jukona mahdi”. Anda baru saja membaca DOA pengecil alat vital… Ini perlu selama anda belum beristri, apalagi di kampoeng orang

Xing jiang hu te lan min hang gon xi fat coi an nian gong lan nie mie lang cian yang artinya adalah sudah ngak tau artinya masih dibaca

Buka hati jgn murung, buka pikiran jgn bingung, buka mata jgn linglung, buka baju dpt gunung, buka paha dpt “sarangburung” he.. he.. he..

Seorang pasien dtg ke dr.gigi & langsung membuka resletingnya. Eeh!saya dr.gigi,bukan dr.kelamin! Sipasien sambil meringis berkata “Ada gigi nancep di ANU saya”

ALIONG masih meniduri istrinya yg hamil 9 bln, ISTRI: mau bikin apalagi? badan, kepala, tgn, kaki sdh lengkap semua. ALIONG: owe cuma mau kasih minyak lambut

4 types of women having sex: (1)ASTHMATIC: ah..ah…ah.., (2)OBEDIENT: yes .. yes.., (3)UNSATISFIED: more …more, (4)RELIGIOUS: …oh…. god ..god ..

Udah nonton CABAU-KAN?,lagunya: Lu Pan Dang, Ai Ri Si,Lu Fe Gang,Ai Ge Li,Lu Tlan Jang,Ai Tlang Sang,Lu Pa Sang,Ai Ngang Kang,Lu Go Yang, Ai se nang snang.

Ingin besarkan payudara atau pe**s anda ? Tnp efek sampingan & bahan kimia! Tlah terbukti! Jaminan kami 100% berhasil atau uang kembali! Gunakanlah…KACA PEMBESAR

Ingin besarkan payudara atau pe**s anda ? Tnp efek sampingan & bahan kimia! Tlah terbukti! Jaminan kami 100% berhasil atau uang kembali! Gunakanlah…KACA PEMBESAR

Cewe Jawa nikah dgn cowok batak di malam pertama,si cewe: si cewe teriak kesakitan ‘Udah to mas..udah to mas cowok : bah siapa to mas, aku nih tobing

Bahwa Sesungguhnya Manusia itu berKEMBANG BIAK bukan
dengan PEMBUAHAN tetapi dgn cara STEK karena yang ditanam adalah BATANG nya bukan BIJI nya.

Do u need someone 4 hug every night,2 accompany u when u sleep?If you interested, call me.I’ll bring my friend from China 2accompany u.People call her.. Gu Ling

ya tuhan kami!lindungilah kami dari godaan setan dan orang yg sdang membaca sms ini

engkau sungguh dinamis,rambutmu kaya selebretis,sifatmu romantis,gayamu erotis,pakaianmu necis,sepatumu dari perancis,sayang wajahmu kaya TELETUBBIES..!!

ada 3 orang pendekar yg bernama wong sedang membaca pesan yg pertama Tigerwong, yg kedua Wongfeihung & yg terakhir WONGGENDENG

i saw u walking on the street. u lips, u eyes, u nose……. everything look perfect. i couldn’t helpsing to my self, WHO LET DOGS OUT!! WOOF!! WOOF! WOOF!!!!

bhs inggrisnya Dangdut:go young same pay the kill
bhs cinanya tusuk:Tan cepin
bhs koreanya monyet:loe toe yee..

Sebenernya gue nggak percaya dg Teorinya Darwin yang mengatakan bahwa manusia itu berasal dari monyet. Tapi setelah gue melihat muka elo, gue baru percaya.

A chinese couple about 2 hav der 1st baby. When d baby was born, d eyes were big, d hair was curly, and d skin was brown. So dey named d baby SAM TING WONG…

buah manggis buiah jambu monyet, kamulah yang termanis ……monyet!!!!!

Aku ingin mengatakan sesuatu yg tlh kupendam slm 3 hari ini. Kuberanikan diri tuk nyatakan pdmu krn ku tak kuasa tuk nahan. Kuharap kamu ngerti..aku mau beol!


” Ya Tuhan, kalau dia memang jodohku, dekatkanlah…
Tapi kalau bukan jodohku, Jodohkanlah….
Jika dia tidak berjodoh denganku, maka jadikanlah kami jodoh…
Kalau dia bukan jodohku, jangan sampai dia dapet jodoh yang lain, selain aku…
” Ya Tuhan, kalau dia tidak bisa di jodohkan denganku, jangan sampai
dia dapet jodoh yang lain, biarkan dia tidak berjodoh sama seperti
Dan saat dia telah tidak memiliki jodoh, jodohkanlah kami kembali…
” Ya Tuhan, kalau dia jodoh orang lain, putuskanlah! Jodohkanlah
Jika dia tetap menjadi jodoh orang lain, biar orang lain itu ketemu
jodoh dengan yang lain dan kemudian Jodohkan kembali dia dengan ku …
NB: Maafkan hamba-Mu karna telah memojokkanmu ya Tuhan, habis
bagaimana lagi, hamba-Mu ini sudah kepepet!!

Waktu gw susah elo ada disamping, waktu gw sedih elo selalu menemaniku, waktu aku lagi berduka elo tetap bersamaku, hingga ku jadi berpikir… “Jangan2 Elo pembawa sial”

Seorang kakek melihat-lihat majalah porno. Pada halaman 1, “YA AMPUN”, halaman 2, YA TUHAN, dan pada hal terakhir ia berseru YA ABIS !

Kuterpana memandang matamu
nafasku pun berhenti
jantungku berdegup keras
benarkah semua yang kurasakan ini?
kuberanikan diri bertanya padamu…
kau kentut ya?

Aku mimpi jalan ke mall sambil bawa anjing. Ada satpam marah-marah dan ngusir aku. Aku pun pulang dan aku ketemu sama kamu dan kamu langsung ngajak aku ke mall lagi. Setelah sampai disana Satpamnya malah marah besar seperti ini, “Udah dibilangin gak boleh bawa anjing, eh sekarang malah bawa babi!!!”

Buah semangka buah duren, Engga nyangka gue keren. Buah semangka buah manggis, engga nyangka gue manis, Ada gula ada semut, gila gue imut!

say… dikau adalah idaman hatiku
say… tanpamu terasa hampa
say… daku menginginkanmu, merasakanmu, menikmatimu
say……… say….. say…
say…. say…
say..ur bayam seikat berapa yach…???

Mau yang muda apa yang tua ?
Mau yang lebat atau yang rindang bulunya ?
Mau yang kuat apa yang lembek ?
Yahhhng panjang enak, yang mungil asyik ?
Tersedia berbagai ukuran.
Hubungi tukang jagung !!!

Pilot to tower, “I’m 400 miles fromland, 500 feet over water & no fuel, please advice!”
Tower to Pilot, “Repeat after me, Innalilllahi wa’inna illaihi roji’un.”

Guru: “Coba kamu gambar segitiga sama kaki !”
Murid: “ga bisa, saya biasa gambar segitiga sama tangan !”

Kalo susah masuk karena lemes, jilat dulu ujungnya. Kalo udah tegang, baru arahkan ke lobang. Agak didorong supaya masuk, lalu ditarik…..
Nah, Selamat Menjahit.

ketika kau lewat depan rumahku…
tak lepas kumenatapmu…
ingin rasanya kunyanyikan sebuah lagu..
“who lets the dogs out…hu…”

Makin tua kamu hrs semakin Arif. Kalo ada yang bilang Jelek, sabaaaarr.
Kalo ada yang katain Begoo, cuekin aja.
Dibilang dungu, cool..aja. Tapi kalo ada yg bilang Cakep, tonjok aja, itu Fit’nah.

Breaking news! Name List of Osama Laden’s family: 1.Osama 2. Obeda 3. Omirip 4. Olaen 5.Okaya 6.Okedeh 7.Oseram from: Osaya, Yang baca: Ogila hi…hi… olala!

Doa’in gue ya! Td gue baru chek up ke dokter, gue kena penyakit BEAUTIFULIST! Semacam penyakit MAKIN CANTIK gitu! Gak nular SICH, cuman gak bisa sembuh aja…
Mau sehat minumlah susu, mau cantik mandilah susu,mau sexy rawatlah susu, mau iseng senggolah susu, mau nikmat hisaplah susu, mau Pu…as janganlah kesusu.

Do u need someone 4 hug everynite, 2 accompany u when u sleep ? If u interested, call me. I’ll bring my friend from China to accompany u and people call her Gu Ling..

Buah nangka buah cempedak
Engga nyangka elo badak..

When I see a baby, I remember “Teddy Bear doll”. when I see a little girl, I remember “barbie doll”. But when I see you, I remember PANADOL…PuZzzzinkk!!

If u missed me, if u love me..think bout me, if u sleep..dream bout me, if u indomie

Seorang kakek melihat-lihat majalah porno. Pada halaman 1, “YA AMPUN”, halaman 2, YA TUHAN, dan pada hal terakhir ia berseru YA ABIS !

Lihat sekelilingmu, itu adalah kebesaran Tuhan. Lihatlah keluargamu, itu adalah anugrah Tuhan. Lihatlah di cermin, itu cobaan Tuhan!

Ingat ngga’ saat kita naik oplet bareng, kamu keluarin muka di jendela, dan aku keluarin pantat di jendela, lalu orang-orang bilang kita kembar.

Sayang… tadi pagi aku tidak bisa makan karena merindukan kamu, siangnya juga tidak makan karena memikirkan kamu, dan malamnya aku tidak bisa tidur karena kelaparan.

Semalam aku mimpikan U, di benakku hanya ada U, seharian aku mikirin U, Aku rasa aku merindukan U, Besok aku akan coba memikirkan V, W, lalu X, dan Y

Aku suka banget lihat kamu, baik, setia, ceria, tidak suka ngambek. Tapi aku paling sebel kalau ngajak kamu ngomong, jawabnya pasti, ”Guk.. !”.

Air beriak tanda tak dalam, yang berteriak tak bercelana dalam..

Kalo elu dikatain jelek, sabar aja. Kalo elu dikatain bego, cuek aja. Kalo elu dikatain dungu, cool aja. Tapi kalo elu dikatain cakep, tampar aja .. itu Fitnah !!!!

Co dan Ce sedang pacaran

ce: kamu ngerokok?
co: gak
ce: minum2?
co: gak
ce: pake obat?
co: gak
ce: nyeleweng?
co: gak
ce: lalu sukanya apa?
co: boong.

Kau pegang anuku, ku pegang anumu, kau remas anuku , kuremas anumu, lalu bergoyang-goyang naik turun,itu adalah cara bersalaman yang baik.

Bahasa cina nya:
POLISI:Tu Khang Thi Lang
JAKSA:Tu Kahng Tho Tok
PEMDA:Tu Khang Gu Syur

Kusentuh lembut kulitmu, kucium aroma tubuhmu, kujilat selangkanganMu, kugigit pelan pahamu…oh…nikmatnya…KENTUCKY…jagonya AYAM

2 pria cek sperma di RS. Pria 1 dimasturbasi suster dg TANGAN. Pria ke-2 dg ORAL. Pria 1 protes keras. Jwb suster “Anda pakai ASKES, dia bayar TUNAI!

Raja kawin dgn 5 org wanita bersaudara: MARIBU,MARIKA,MARICE,MANILA & MARINA. Raja memanggil semuanya…”MARIBUKACELANA” semuanya disini!

Buah semangka buah duren, Engga nyangka gue keren. Buah semangka buah manggis, engga nyangka gue manis, Ada gula ada semut, gila gue imut!

dari mana semut melata…..
dari sawah turun ke titi …..
dari mana datangnya cinta ……
dari SMS turun ke hati …..

Andai kau dapat melihat hatiku
Andai saja kau dapat membaca fikiranku
Betapa ruang jiwaku penuh bayangan dirimu,
menghiasi hari-hariku
Senyum dan suaramu teduhkan jiwaku
Cintailah aku dengan kesungguhanmu